"How do I crack passwords?", "Can someone send me a hacking tool?", "What even is a FAQ?"
Does this sound like you? Are you one of those people who think the internet is some magical cheat code waiting to be cracked? And no one gives you proper advice except, "Get a book and learn something."?
Or are you frustrated because everyone tells you about creativity, responsibility, and system understanding, when all you really want to know is how to "hack the network"? Don’t worry—you’ve come to the right place (and also the wrong one).
Yes, you heard me: Lamer. That’s you, as long as you think hacking is a magical tool you can just download. So, go ahead and write "I will change my mindset" 100 times in a notebook before we continue.
No, you can’t hack from your Discord account or TikTok profile. Nobody hacks anything serious with a web interface. What you need:
Of course, the internet doesn’t run on Windows or macOS. Real hackers use Linux. But before you run to the nearest store, just download a Linux distribution. Suggestions:
Install Linux—not on your calculator, but on a VM (virtual machine) or directly on your PC. And yes, feel free to delete your Windows partition. Nobody’s going to thank you for keeping it.
You want to hack something? Then at least understand what you’re hacking:
ping
, curl
, and nmap
. And no, ping
isn’t just for checking Netflix speeds.If you can’t program, you’re not hacking anything. Not being a programmer and wanting to be a hacker is like wanting to be a chef without knowing how to use a stove. Learn:
No, you don’t need secret hacker tools from the Dark Web. Everything you need is already freely available:
But remember, use these tools responsibly and legally, or you’ll end up in jail faster than you can say "sudo."
Imagine you’re a fisherman and the internet is the sea. Would you just jump into the water with a net without knowing how it works? Exactly. So read:
Hacking doesn’t mean sitting alone in your basement eating pizza. Network with others:
At the end of the day, being a hacker means solving problems and making systems better. If you follow this guide humorously but seriously, you’ll learn how to secure systems—and maybe become a real hacker. Or stay a lamer. Your choice. 😊