How to Become a Hacker: A Modern Guide for Wannabe Hackers

"How do I crack passwords?", "Can someone send me a hacking tool?", "What even is a FAQ?"
Does this sound like you? Are you one of those people who think the internet is some magical cheat code waiting to be cracked? And no one gives you proper advice except, "Get a book and learn something."?

Or are you frustrated because everyone tells you about creativity, responsibility, and system understanding, when all you really want to know is how to "hack the network"? Don’t worry—you’ve come to the right place (and also the wrong one).

1. The First Step: Stop Being a Lamer

Yes, you heard me: Lamer. That’s you, as long as you think hacking is a magical tool you can just download. So, go ahead and write "I will change my mindset" 100 times in a notebook before we continue.

2. Get the Right Access

No, you can’t hack from your Discord account or TikTok profile. Nobody hacks anything serious with a web interface. What you need:

  • A VPN service, so you’re not immediately caught while "experimenting."
  • A solid ISP (Internet Service Provider) that gives you real IPv4 and IPv6 access. And no, your neighbor’s Wi-Fi won’t cut it.

3. Install Linux

Of course, the internet doesn’t run on Windows or macOS. Real hackers use Linux. But before you run to the nearest store, just download a Linux distribution. Suggestions:

  • Ubuntu, because it’s idiot-proof for beginners.
  • Kali Linux, if you want to look cool with pre-installed hacking tools.
  • Arch Linux, if you have too much free time and want to manually type every command.

Install Linux—not on your calculator, but on a VM (virtual machine) or directly on your PC. And yes, feel free to delete your Windows partition. Nobody’s going to thank you for keeping it.

4. Learn Networking Basics

You want to hack something? Then at least understand what you’re hacking:

  • What’s an IP packet? No, it’s not a gift box.
  • How does DNS work? Hint: It’s not your best friend’s name.
  • Learn tools like ping, curl, and nmap. And no, ping isn’t just for checking Netflix speeds.

5. Learn to Code or Give Up

If you can’t program, you’re not hacking anything. Not being a programmer and wanting to be a hacker is like wanting to be a chef without knowing how to use a stove. Learn:

  • Python, because it’s lazy people’s language of choice.
  • C, because it’s the language of people who break things.
  • Bash, because on Linux, you can’t even make coffee without it.

6. Use the Right Tools

No, you don’t need secret hacker tools from the Dark Web. Everything you need is already freely available:

  • Wireshark: To analyze network traffic (read: eavesdrop on others’ data).
  • nmap: To scan networks (read: figure out what devices are on your school’s network).
  • Burp Suite: To test web applications (read: figure out how bad your favorite site’s passwords are).

But remember, use these tools responsibly and legally, or you’ll end up in jail faster than you can say "sudo."

7. Understand the Internet

Imagine you’re a fisherman and the internet is the sea. Would you just jump into the water with a net without knowing how it works? Exactly. So read:

  • RFC documents: These explain how the internet functions (yes, they’re boring, but essential).
  • Security blogs: Read about vulnerabilities and try to understand them. No, just reading the title isn’t enough.

8. Be a Social Nerd

Hacking doesn’t mean sitting alone in your basement eating pizza. Network with others:

  • Join HackerOne or Bugcrowd to find real vulnerabilities—legally, and for rewards.
  • Discuss on Reddit communities, but don’t post dumb stuff, or you’ll be kicked out faster than you joined.

Conclusion: Hacking Is More Than Hacking

At the end of the day, being a hacker means solving problems and making systems better. If you follow this guide humorously but seriously, you’ll learn how to secure systems—and maybe become a real hacker. Or stay a lamer. Your choice. 😊